why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
