It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
