So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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