Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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