where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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