My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
