how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
