why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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