I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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