At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
