just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
