return my video game
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
