I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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