Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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