omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
