It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize