You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
