i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
