I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I love having hate sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
