i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
