Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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