dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
