She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize