We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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