i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
