Umm I'm too high to move.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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