Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
