I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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