Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
