your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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