he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
