If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
