Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
