it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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