Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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