does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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