you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
