you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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