Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
