i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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