Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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