So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
