And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
