there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
