Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
