summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
