Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
