Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
where does the pee come out of this thing
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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