Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
