so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
