**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
