sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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