Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
