you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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