she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
