Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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