lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
