That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
operation have a gay friend backfired
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
