I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
