do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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