I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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