Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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