I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
