think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
