i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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