Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
