Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
