But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
