I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
