I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
